hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
