how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
