Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
