I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Text me some of your sweat
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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