I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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