oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
zippers are such a cool invention
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
