she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
