i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
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threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
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New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.