mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
