Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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