Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We need to rekindle our bromance
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
