You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
