I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
