Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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