I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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