I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
