If i come over, it means nothing
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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