I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize