Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize