just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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