There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
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i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
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All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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