Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
