You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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