you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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