Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
