Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
