Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
