so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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