I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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