Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
