Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
