He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
