Who wears a wallet chain?!
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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