Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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