i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
