can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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