Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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