Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
