are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
