She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
