Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
