You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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