i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
