i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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