Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
