she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
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They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
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I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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