I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
