yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So much rum. So many feels.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
