Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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