just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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