Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
