we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Let's get the cat blown out
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
