y did u give ur computer a hand job?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
