He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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