I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
