pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
