she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
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This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
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Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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